K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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