party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
