I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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