Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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