if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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