white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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