id be glad to
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
