I will die if light touches me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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