One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
