i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
