Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
