im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
