So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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