I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
