Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
