you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
