it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
