U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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