Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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