mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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