no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
