i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Text me some of your sweat
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
