Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
