bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
