Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
