He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
