Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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