thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
