omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
