I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
