I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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