Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I've blown a few things in my day
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
MIDGETS
????
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
