This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
