the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
