we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
