Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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