I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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