you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
