that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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