You're my little dorito
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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