My cat gives me a boner
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
