we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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