I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
