In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
