well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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