what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
