Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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