She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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