We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
