This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
