if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
