It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Bring me that man meat
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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