well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
